Listen to Pappa
In his book, "Surprised by Joy," C.S. Lewis wrote, "Joy must be sharply distinguished from Happiness and Pleasure. Joy has only one characteristic in common with the other two, in that anyone who has experienced Joy will want it again. Further, real joy occurs when we are not expecting it. If we look for it, pursue it, it can evade us." Remember, Joy is produced in us by the Holy Spirit; the Bible refers to it as fruit.
I think of Joy as a delicious fruit, not always appealing to the human eye, but when the gentle gardener who lives in me offers a sample, I find it most satisfying—even dreamlike. I have been joyful only a few times, yet I remember the details of each time. I prefer Joy over happiness.
Joy is power from God. Near the end of his life, Landon Saunders wrote, "Joy is love's great ally! Joy holds no condemnation, judgment, or fragility. Joy surrounds love, paves the way to love, evens out the bumps along the way of love. Joy steps in when love is strained; it keeps us balanced when anticipated-love comes up short. Love is at its best in the presence of joy."
"I have made joy the default setting of my heart. No matter what happens, no matter my failure, no matter my loss, no matter my sadness, my heart returns to joy. Joy has room for all my disappointments, grief, tragedies, depression, and fears."
I realize that what I am about to write may confuse or even trouble you at first. The moment in this photo was one of Joy. And I am grateful the photographer pressed the button at this exact moment and not a second before. I felt awkward as I was handed Rayleigh. I had never held a lifeless human body before this moment, nor since. All eyes in the room were on me. I feared this moment was surely the substance of future nightmares.
At that moment I was confronted with the deepest surge of grief I have ever known. I believed I would begin sobbing uncontrollably the next moment, I wondered if I were somehow partly to blame for this terrible thing that happened—among a host of other irrational notions. I had no idea what to think, say, or do. Then, as that swell of emotion began moving quickly to my throat, a scripture replaced all other thoughts, and suddenly I recalled a promise I once made to myself, though I imagined the occasion would be much happier.
Out of that chaos a voice whispered, "This day is sacred to God. Do not be dejected, sad, and tearful for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (from Neh. 8) And as the photo was snapped my mouth was forming the word, "You." Because, bubbling over at that moment with Joy I whispered to Rayleigh what I had vowed, "You are the Best. I don't care what anyone else may say. Listen to your Pappa. You mustn't tell anyone I've said these things to you for they might become jealous." I grinned at her and winked.
Numb, "What should I do next?" I was greatly surprised, while still gently holding her in my hands, attempting to memorize every feature of her angelic face, I was suddenly overcome with what I can only describe as Peace and a great, warm calm. I looked up and saw all the love being shared with my daughter and son-in-law. God was right here in our midst.
Today I am better able to meditate on the truth of the poet's metaphor of life in a psalm; and I 'know' good things are coming, for: "Those who plant in tears will reap with shouts of JOY. They weep as they go to sow their seed, but they sing joyful songs as they return with the harvest." (from Ps 126)
© Copyright October, 2018 mypericope.com
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