MY DEAREST RAYLEIGH
Happy 2nd birthday in heaven! It is so hard to believe it has been that long. In just a couple of weeks, we will celebrate your baby brother’s 1st birthday! And that has my head spinning. While we enjoy getting to know our happy Leo, we miss you every day.
I’ve wondered how I should feel about your short life, as I’ve never had to ponder anything like this before. And it caused me to think deeply, which was a good thing and a bad thing.
So, I asked myself, “What to do, what to dooo?” And that reminded me of the great philosopher Winnie the Pooh. I was SURE he would have the answer for a little girl's ear. And I wrote down what he told me here: Pooh said that no one has control over what comes and goes in life—whether good or bad. And BOTH come—and go. But what we DO have control over is our attitudes!
The photo, Rayleigh, of you and me, tells more than a great story, as you will see. I hope we can discover what lies in it. For, if we open our eyes, even for a brief moment, a whole new beautiful world can flood in. For example, look at Pappa’s hands.
They hold you, while at the same time, they are open. And THAT is a great lesson to learn. Since I have no control over what may come and go, it is wiser to keep my hands open. For while I cannot hold onto anything as long as I may want, there is always a time when I DID hold them—no matter how long. And THAT is a good thing. If I keep my hands open, I can receive more good things—even if they may be disguised as bad things.
Look in the background, Rayleigh. Your Dad has embraced your Mother in the blurry mist, and your Mother’s hands hold your Dad. Do you see the love? Even though you were taken from their hands, they have grasped something new. A bigger heart, perhaps. Or maybe they celebrated with greater fervor what they held in their hands at THAT moment. Both are good things—because of you.
Now. Back to Winnie the Pooh and me and you. Since I cannot hold you now, maybe I received something better, though I didn’t think about it that way until I was to write this letter. I will use the words of Pooh to say it, though, as he is more eloquent than I, you know. Until we meet again, my Dear, I will think of you in my hands that day and thank the God who put you there that way. I will say to myself what Pooh once said to Piglet, ”How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
P.S. You’re still “The Best.”
Love,
Pappa
The story of Rayleigh was written by our Creator. Although any reasonable person would view it as tragic, I can only say, "Thank you*" to my Creator for allowing me to be a part of it.
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