I THANKED THE SENIOR gentleman for his wise guidance. He snorted, “Oh, get real!” I stood mouth open, stunned at his response. Did he think I was insincere? Or, maybe he knew I couldn’t possibly understand the cost of following his advice.
Perhaps, to him, I wasn’t “Real”. Or were the last three words he spoke the Real wisdom?
Margery Williams’ tale of “The Velveteen Rabbit” is the story of a child's toy who becomes “Real”. Of course, it’s much more than that. As adults, I recommend a reread.
When we consider who or what is real in our lives, we notice that the real things are a bit weathered. It takes a long time to become Real. Like the voice of Nat King Cole or Judy Collins. I think of the majestic hills of the Appalachian Trail, or the withered, rough hands and face of Mother Theresa, or a few friendships I’m blessed to have.
They’re not perfect, but they were fashioned from years of refinement. The stuff of Love, which is the only Real thing. The process can be uncomfortable. Notice too, in everyday life, there is a higher cost for what is Real: A satisfying steak, aged bourbon or fine wine, genuine works of art, parenting, or the sacrifices required for a good, Real marriage. The price is high but the experience is so much richer.
So how will I know when I’ve gotten Real?
It comes over time through Realizations:
Looks don’t matter, “Because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” In today's culture, we say it’s important to be young, thin, and beautiful. Real-life teaches that it's okay to be none of those things, and shows how transitory, and ultimately unimportant, looks are. The Rabbit becomes worn and ugly over time, but this doesn't change the boy's love for him. He loves his rabbit for who he is, not what he looks like. It’s heart that matters.
Hardships are a part of life. “Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been
loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.”
So be who you are! “Once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.” With social media, anyone can curate their life to appear perfect. But it’s more important to be Real in every aspect of our lives. We need not the approval nor validation of other people to be confident in who we are. Considering who created us, we all should be self-confident in our uniqueness.
Love hurts, but it’s so worth it. “Does it hurt?” Asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes.” Said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” The predictable stories of today suggest that all you need is to find “The One” and you’ll live happily ever after. But is that Real? Love is hard work. That is Real. And sometimes it’s painful—whether you’re working to love a child, a parent, or anyone in your life.
Never regret loving or being loved.
Remember where you came from. “Why, he looks just like my old Bunny that was lost when I had Scarlett fever!” But he never knew that it really was his own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be real.” After the Rabbit becomes Real and has everything he could possibly want: lots of live bunny friends, a happy bunny life, and reaching his ultimate goal, he still comes back to visit the boy in the garden. We should remember our past and where we came from—especially the people who helped us get to where we are.
The Skin Horse said that not many "people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept" become Real because they simply can't hack it. Being sensitive isn't a bad thing, but being fragile can. No one makes it out of this world alive, but it takes strength to really make it.
Remember where Real strength comes from and you’ll receive everything you need to do ALL things.. (Ref: Phil. 4:13)
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