All that’s left is a fading, discolored, blurry photo,
Slowly passing away.
My Dad is the only one smiling, (his most memorable gift to us)
Standing in front of ‘Dad Landerfelt’, the grandfather of my namesake.
When I last saw him I was six or seven months old.
I understand he was an addict.
Alcohol was not his friend.
But often his closest companion.
It took him from us.
And I never knew him.
I never knew of his torment.
He lost his wife at 37, his house, home, heart,
His leg from an accident,
A lucrative career and a precision gold watch
The main tool of a railway switchman.
All passed away,
Faded with it, his will to live.
I cannot criticize him.
As his grandson, I’ve discovered
I am an addict, too.
My poison:
I crave money and other things.
Even though I’ve learned they don’t satisfy for long.
How quickly they pass!
I hunger for what hurts me and then it disappears.
I always think it will be good. Fun.
And I want what’s good for me!
So, I go for those things.
I say I can quit anytime, but I know better.
I am powerless before my wantings.
Without help they will destroy me.
Squeeze out every last moment of my life.
I see others like me and it makes it easier to continue
For I know I am surrounded by ‘wanting’ buddies.
In quiet times I notice we’ve begun to fade,
Like my grandfather’s photo,
We mostly ignore that.
God’s Book says there is hope for us.
To be preserved and even restored.
Healing is a life-long process.
It will require complete trust in something and
Someone I don’t completely understand.
I will learn to change my appetite
Toward the things I was meant to consume.
Toward the things that really satisfy.
“Don’t love the world’s ways.
Don’t love the world’s goods.
Loving them squeezes out love for the Father.
"Practically everything that goes on in the world—
"Wanting your own way,
Wanting everything for yourself,
Wanting to appear important—
Has nothing to do with the Father.
"It just isolates you from him.
"The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting
Is slowly but surely passing away—
"But whoever does WHAT GOD WANTS
Is set forever.” I Jn. 2
© April, 2019 mypericope.com
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